..aloysia krisnawatie..

Hallo, my dear blog..
It is cold night at Bandung. After 3 weeks I spend my -worst- holiday ever at home. I'm ready to face my study. But.. not yet. The lecture still not there yet. And I am ready to... go home again. Only for a while.
Go and come home by train for hours is very tiring.


I have spent my worst holiday ever. days of heavy and tiring. and also painful. Even I don't know, who I can be to trust.Who I can tell. I only can share it to Allah.. But, do He hear me? If He did, then why I'm still don't know what the answer. And the best answer is, time will goes by. 

I feel hurt. this feeling sick. no one understand. And will never. 
This is the worst mind to think. But I believe what I see. God never sleep. God knows. God see. God never fail His promises.

I'm feeling weak when I write this. 

Can I trust her who I believe for some years?
Can I.... I don't know what to say.

I need time to deal with my self. I have to forgive my self. I have to make my self happier than before. I need my self better. I just need my self. 

I don't know what to write. Let me say it only on my mind. And let me think alone with my God.
I know, that God loves me better.. So He send me this trouble to be my friend.


Dear, God.. 
You know who I should believe to. Should I believe to my self, or her?
You know what happen, cause You made it. 
This is the drama what you made. 
Sometime I asked, why'd You made this drama, if You know this life is just for a while. And the next life is the immortal life?
I don't know what do you want from the bastard human like me. All I know is do all the best.



What's the best song to play?
silent and o'clock sound. humm...